


Let The Pictures Soak

by n3s0



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Blood and Injury, Dead TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Grieving, Hurt No Comfort, Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Spoilers for Tommy's 03/01 stream, Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, ghostinnit, sleepy bois inc - Freeform, teen for swearing and violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:41:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29798277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n3s0/pseuds/n3s0
Summary: When Wilbur died it was like the world had stopped, standing still to respect the monumental loss. Everyone stared and gasped. The ground beneath them was crumbling just like Phil's heart was. Withers burned through the sky and the world collapsed just like Phil's life did.The day Tommy dies, it's partly sunny with a slight wind and he was going on a walk.It feels ironic, unjust, disrespectful. As Phil's world caves in a second time, life continues. It feels wrong.orPhilza and Technoblade cope with Tommy's death and his ghost.
Relationships: Dream SMP Ensemble & TommyInnit, Sam | Awesamdude & TommyInnit, Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 48
Kudos: 595
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	1. then i'll lose my children

**Author's Note:**

> If any of the creators in this story express that they're uncomfortable with fanfiction, please let me know and this will be taken down! The actions the characters take in this story in no way reflect how I think the content creators would behave, and this is all based on the roleplay.
> 
> Spoilers for the events of streams on and following 03/01/21. This is being written on 03/01/21 and is currently following canon. If something in the future changes and makes this story non-canon, I won't be adding an AU tag to this because it's being written when it's still canon. 
> 
> The title is from "Doing The Right Thing" by Daughter, I suggest giving it a listen. This isn't a songfic, but that song fits very well with this story.

The tundra's cold winter was finally starting to lift. They still lived in a tundra after all, but finally the heavy blankets of snow were leaving and bringing a brighter sun to make the harsh wind chill more bearable. It was nice, peaceful, exactly the retirement that Techno had wanted. And Phil was happy for him. Hell, he was happy for himself. He didn't think the trembling in his hands would go away since joining the server ~~since killing Wil~~ but the quiet snowfields seemed to help the tremble, if only slightly. 

"Ranboo back yet?" Techno calls from the bee farm to Phil on his porch. He had built his own home only a few yards away from Techno's. They respected each other's space but also their want to keep each other close. They pointedly ignored the dirt that was still lifted around the area where Tommy and Ghostbur's home sat. 

"Nah, but you know how he is," Phil shrugs, "he likes to stick around Tubbo. The two are glued at the hip it seems." Phil waited for Techno to make a snide remark about Tubbo, call him a government, or belittle his new home in the Snowchester commune. But nothing came. Phil knew that Techno respected Ranboo's friendship with Tubbo- anarchy was about freedom of choice, after all, and Tubbo wasn't actively creating a government so Ranboo was free to see who he wants. Techno still loved to poke fun at the boy, sarcastic remarks with no real threat behind them. The absence of those remarks made Phil's shoulders tense. "Why do you ask?"

"..." Techno stares at the bees buzzing around his farm, silent in thought. 

"We can go down to the Greater SMP if you want," Phil suggests, keeping his voice casual. "He has been gone for a bit, and it wouldn't be bad to wander down there to get a read on how the egg is." In all honestly, Phil had wanted to take a trip down there anyways. He was bargaining with Sam to try and get some kind of access to the prison a few days ago, maybe the man will let him simply visit. He never got the chance to get a good read on Dream, and there was no better place than where they're both completely powerless. 

"Hm, why not? Carl could use the exercise," Techno says, just as casual. Whatever was bothering him obviously wasn't severe enough for him to bother Phil, and Phil trusted that he would mention it if it was important, so he lets it drop in favor of gathering a small amount of supplies for the trip. They gear up silently, strapping up their horses and pinging Ranboo for his coordinates. Not bothering to wait for a response they head south. Few people still stuck around the central SMP, instead spreading out throughout the lands after L'manberg's destruction and Dream's imprisonment. If they couldn't find Ranboo around the lands they could just glance around the edges of Snowchester; Tubbo would never let them close but maybe they could spot Ranboo from afar. 

They keep small talk during the trip, only about 45 minutes on horse. The conversation helps ease the tension in Phil's shoulders. They talked about meaningless things like the weather and cooking for the first time since joining this server, and it settled some guilt in his stomach. Being on the server did nothing but make Phil feel like an awful friend and father ~~maybe he was~~ , but the casual conversation with a good friend eased his worry. 

They quickly approached the SMP, the lands looking rather unchanged. There are a few new buildings, most notably Tommy's hotel that he offered Techno a stay at. Phil smiled at the reminder of the both hilarious and heartfelt mail Tommy left them. Their fundamental ideals may clash, and Phil felt hurt on Techno's behalf for betrayal, but Tommy was still a good person at heart.

"I might stop and try and find Tommy while we're here," Phil muses, and Techno coughs to hide his choked noise of surprise. 

"And why would you want to do that?" Techno chuckles.

"The kid's practically family, and I'm hoping maybe I can get him to see our side," Techno eyes Phil cautiously and Phil waves him off, "I'm not saying I'm gonna make you forgive him mate, I'm just saying maybe I can actually sit down with him and talk."

"When has that ever worked?" Techno laughs.

"When have we ever tried?" 

They both fall silent at that. It's tense and heavy, and they both quickly fill it with more small talk, but it doesn't ease the tension in Phil's shoulders this time. 

The tension only rises when he spots Sam standing next to Tubbo and Tommy's bench, watching the sun in the sky. It wasn't sunset or sunrise, why Sam was standing there was beyond Phil. It was a surprisingly nice day in the SMP, though Phil can see a storm out the very outskirts of the city. 

"Hey, Sam!" Phil calls cheerfully. The two of them didn't talk much, but he respected Sam's dedication and they had friendly conversations before. That's why it was surprising to see how Sam's body tensed at Phil's voice. "Have you seen Ranboo?" 

"...I think you should leave him alone for a bit, Phil." Sam's voice is hard, he still hasn't turned to look at him. Techno shares a nervous look with Phil.

"What's wrong mate?" Phil asks, concern evident. Techno is visibly uncomfortable next to him.

"Yeah, Tommy finally make you snap or somethin'?" Techno jokes, he never really knew how to handle emotional situations like these, "I know he's pretty annoyin' but-" 

" _Don't_ ," Sam's voice is still harsh, but it's shaky as he snaps his head around. He looks positively seething, a faint hissing noise coming from his throat and tears running down his face. He doesn't have his usual gas mask on and Phil can see the now uncovered creeper scales around his jaw and neck. "Don't you _dare_ talk about him like that." 

Techno looks defensive at the aggression and before it can escalate, Phil steps between the two of them. It's awkward, with both hybrids towering over him, but his commanding presence causes them both to look at him. "Sam, what happened." His voice leaves no room for deflection.

"Tommy-" Sam chokes on Phil's son's name, a terrible sign that he doesn't want to fully think about, "he-, _God_. I couldn't secure the prison in time. He was stuck with Dream-" 

"What, he annoyed him to death?" Techno just couldn't keep the sarcastic comment to himself. Phil could sympathize, Techno was obviously nervous and uncomfortable and completely confused on how to deal with a furious creeper hybrid that reeked of gunpowder. Sam, however, couldn't or didn't care to sympathize, and punches Techno square in the nose. Phil lets out a startled squawk as Techno stumbles back, hand already summoning his ax. Sam doesn't give him the chance to swing as he's shaking with anger and grief, all directed onto Techno and Phil.

"He's dead!" Sam cries out and Phil freezes, "Dream beat him to death and I had to sit and listen because that damned prison is still in lockdown from the explosions and now he's just rotting in that cell with Dream!" He takes a sharp gasp of air, coughing and choking on his tears. Phil can feel his own pouring down his face. "Fuck!-" Sam let out a scream as he punches the fences next to the bench, a small explosion popping with his knuckles. Phil still felt his feet glued in place. The three of them stand there, the silence only broken up by Sam's sobs. 

"When?" Techno asks, voice uncharacteristically soft.

"This morning," Sam whispers back, "I went in to tell him that it might be longer than a week, I still can't figure out what happened and I couldn't-" Sam lets out a bitter laugh, "I told him Dream getting out wasn't worth the risk," Phil feels a confusing mix of anger, resentment, and understanding for Sam's situation sit in his gut, "He just went back to yelling and pissing off Dream but something about it- I don't know, something about the yelling changed," Sam's voice is barely above a whisper, "I went to go check the cams when it went silent. He was..." 

"He was what," Phil says harshly, "I need to know, Sam, he was _what_."

"He was dead, Phil." There's no way to sugar coat it. "He was laying in his own blood. Dream beat him to death, probably blunt force trauma or brain swelling or a rib puncturing his lung that killed him," Sam sounds like he's reading an autopsy, numb, "He's still there. The prison is still in lockdown, I can't get into the cell until the security breach is dealt with." 

"How do you know he's dead then," Techno snaps, "Can't get to his body, so how did you check that he's dead." 

"He hasn't blinked, Technoblade," Sam's voice cracks, "his face was turned towards the camera and he was staring into it, staring at _me_ and hasn't blinked in hours. He's laying in his own blood." 

It was such an average day. Phil was talking about the weather not even half an hour ago. It wasn't raining or slamming down thunder or booming explosions or final duels. It was a sunny day with a slight wind chill and the sun was about halfway into the sky. It felt like Phil's world was splitting apart and it was sunny and he started the day talking about the weather. The kid he raised like a son, the kid Wilbur called a brother, was dead and the world didn't seem to care. 

"Show me," Techno snaps again, his voice monotone once again.

"No," Sam replies instantly, voice dropping into his Warden Voice once more, "There's still a security breach at the prison, no one is allowed in or out except me." The three of them are quiet for a moment before Sam's gaze finds Phil's again, "...you shouldn't have to see another son's body." The statement slams in Phil at full speed and he's walking away before he can even process more. 

"Phil," Techno calls for him, "Philza, let's go home." Phil just keeps walking. He never visited Tommy's home. The boy had mentioned once, when he was still living in their cabin, that he had an elaborate underground to his base. That the top was just a dirt shack because it was always being destroyed, so what was the point of rebuilding. Most of Tommy's things were always being destroyed. They won't have anything to bury him with. 

He was in front of The Embassy before he could process it. Ranboo was there, too, hands digging through dirt in the ground and shoving flowers in its place. They're tulips. Ranboo's crying. There's a faint sizzling sound coming from the boy, but neither of them pay any mind to it as Techno catches up to Phil. 

"Ranboo-" Phil starts but the boy instantly cuts him off.

"They're his favorite flowers," he spits the words out like they burn him, like if he doesn't say them now he will never get to, "he told me in Logsted." 

"I know," that wasn't a lie, Phil genuinely remembered. He kept every fact about his boys close to his heart. He may have failed them later in life, but he held every memory and fact close to him. 

"He never decorated because his stuff was always getting destroyed,"

"I know, let's go home," Phil reaches out for Ranboo but he shakes his head.

"No, I need to go help Tubbo," Ranboo wipes his tears, grimacing as the water stings, "he's- he thinks Sam is lying." 

"And you don't?" Techno questions.

"Sam wouldn't lie, not about this," Ranboo sighs.

"I'll go find him," Phil offers, "you should head back home with Techno." Ranboo looks like he wants to argue. But he also looks exhausted. There's a seemingly permanent worry line on his forehead now, and his eyes are dull. He just nods his head and gets off the ground. 

"Will you be okay?" Phil now asks Techno, who stares at Phil for just a beat too long for his nod to be convincing. They'll talk when Phil gets home, but for now, Phil sets off towards L'manberg's grave in the direction Ranboo pointed.

He crosses paths with Jack Manifold on his way there, finding him wandering around the crater as well. Someone covered the hole with protective glass. It made the destruction look like a museum exhibit, made it look like it was history instead of something that happened meer weeks ago. Or was it months? Phil missed when time was simple. 

"Hi Philza," Jack greats with a curt wave.

"Hiya Jack," Phil greats back, not wanting to repeat his small talk from that morning. It felt disrespectful, in a way. They stare at each other for a while, neither saying anything.

"I'm sorry," Jack suddenly breaks the silence and Phil's brow furrows.

"For?"

"For Tommy,"

"...Well it wasn't you who killed him, was it,"

"It was going to be," now that got Phil to stop.

"I'm sorry?"

"I was gonna kill him," Jack says it so casually, so relaxed, that it gives Phil whiplash, "I guess Dream took that from me, too."

"I'm not the person you should be admitting this too, mate," Phil says with a warning tone, and Jack just shrugs.

"What're you gonna do? Kill me?" Jack says, nearly taunts, "All I was working for was getting my revenge, Phil. He's dead now. I don't have much to do." 

They stare at each other again, Phil's shoulders at his ears and Jack so casually slouched. His posture was shit, he got that from Tommy. Phil continues towards where Ranboo pointed for Tubbo before Jack's voice stops him once more.

"I really am sorry," Jack says honestly, "he was my friend once, ya know?"

"...I know." 

He doesn't wait to hear if Jack has a response. 

It doesn't take long to find Tubbo after that, he's sitting on the very edges of the docks that had managed to escape the explosion. His thick fur boots are in the water, he didn't even roll up his pants. There's a smile on his face that doesn't reach his eyes.

"Hey, Tubbo," Phil sits next to him, legs crossed. Tubbo doesn't turn to look at him, just facing off over the water. "Whatcha looking at mate?"

"I'm watching for Tommy," Tubbo says so matter of factly it makes Phil choke. 

"Tubbo-"

"I know what Sam said," Tubbo says with an almost playful annoyance. Like they weren't talking about his best friend's murder. "Sam's a liar. He lied about Michael. Tommy's not dead, he's too stubborn."

"Tubbo, I don't think Sam's lying this time-"

" _He's lying_." 

"...Okay," Phil will get nowhere with this. He wants to scream at Tubbo and shake him sense and sob over his boy's death. But he's an adult and Tubbo is a child, he's learned to cope with deaths over hundreds of years and known peace for hundreds more. Tubbo has seen nothing but bloodshed since his 15th birthday, maybe even before that. He had to step up now. He'll let himself fall apart in the comfort of his own room while his sons haunt him, but for now, he stands and holds out a hand for Tubbo. "Let me walk you back to Snowchester."

"Are you gonna blow that home up, too?" Phil winces at the honest question.

"No, come on mate," Phil gives him a soft smile, hoping it looks caring rather than a grimace. He can see how dilated Tubbo's eyes are now that the boy hoisted himself up with Phil's hand. The normally bright eyes shining with intelligence are dull and glassy, near drunk looking. Tubbo holds his hand like a lost child as the two make the walk back to Snowchester. He sits Tubbo down on one of the beds in one of the many houses, the boy was too out of it to tell him which one was his, and Phil sends Sam a notice of where Tubbo is before heading back to where he left his horse.

On his walk through the SMP he sees a few people. He spots Quackity, who he was expecting screaming threats from. The man simply holds his gaze for a few seconds, before turning and walking in the opposite direction. Antfrost and Bad seemed to be carrying on with their nut-so egg cult thing, and surprisingly the demonic supernatural egg was the least of Phil's concern at the moment. Connor is talking to the Sam Nook robot rolling around the hotel, both of them chatting cheerfully about how excited Tommy will be about his first customer. It brings new tears to Phil's eyes. 

The ride back to Techno's cabin is just as uneventful as the ride there. There's no storm, the one on the edge of the SMP hadn't migrated this far north yet. There's no screaming and wailing or dramatic speeches. Distantly he remembers how he was hoping to find Tommy in the SMP to talk with him about their differences. He won't get to talk to the boy again. He's at the door of Techno's cabin before he can register that he's arrived. He doesn't knock, doesn't bother. The reality of the situation is finally hitting him.

He finds Techno with his head in his hands on the couch, the man doesn't even bother to look up at him when he enters. Phil sits down next to him and tips over until he's leaning against Techno's side. Normally he wouldn't initiate the contact without telling Techno first, but now wasn't normally. He can't find his voice. 

He sits next to Techno for god knows how long. The sunlight through the windows slowly dims until it's barely golden inside the house. The lighting is too soft, too kind, for the situation. Phil really wishes the world would get the memo that it's supposed to be falling apart at TommyInnit's death. 

"Was Tubbo okay?" Techno asks suddenly.

"...No," Phil answers honestly.

"...Yeah, I figured." 

They sit in silence again. 

They spend the next days in silence. Phil loses track of the amount of sunsets he sees that he knows Tommy doesn't get to watch. He barely sees Ranboo now, the boy had almost completely moved to Snowchester to be with Tubbo. Occasionally he'll get a text from Sam updating him about the security situation at the prison. Neither of them mentions how if this goes on any longer they'll have to bury a rotting corpse instead of something that at least somewhat looks like his son.

It feels like the world was supposed to stop for TommyInnit because the boy always forced it to. But he wasn't here anymore to force the world to care, so it moved on and left Phil to find the pieces of his old life. Some nights he could swear he hears Wilbur and Tommy's voices echo in his head, laughter carefree and youthful. He supposes it's his comeuppance. His hands are trembling again.

Somewhere in a cold prison his son's corpse rots with his abuser. The day he realizes that it's one of the nicest days of the year thus far. The world moved on. Phil doesn't think he ever will. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally haven't proofread this once I just had to get this idea on paper and put it out there. I've been writing for 2 hours straight I'm gonna go crazy. I hope this isn't completely terrible, I'll try and go through and edit it tomorrow, I just felt like I had to get this out as soon as possible idk why. 
> 
> Next chapter will hopefully be better edited and is from Techno's POV, focusing on Techno and Phil meeting Ghostinnit :) 
> 
> Let me know what you think so far! Thanks for reading!


	2. you must know you're doing the right thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW in this chapter for blood, death, burials, and swearing.

It had officially been a week since Tommy's death. After Wilbur's death, Phil was so wrapped up in L'manberg and Techno in building his retirement home that the two barely saw each other during the initial grief. Now, he and Phil are both out in the tundra with nothing to do but be each other's company, and it's complicated. 

Technoblade is a warrior first and foremost, this isn't the first death (nor the first personal one) he's experienced and it will not be the last. He's not stupid to the topic. He knows death is always complicated. But never has he had to go through something like...this. Tommy always had a way of making things interesting, he supposes. 

The last five memorable interactions he had with Tommy went like this. Most recently he found the boy rooting through his belongings to gear up to fight Dream (the voices laugh at the irony of this), then it had been them screaming at each other across the crater of L'manberg, before that it was Tommy's betrayal in that damned Community House, and before that was finding the boy starved and traumatized under his house. The fifth interaction was him telling Tommy to die. Die like a hero, to be specific. It's him who's laughing at the irony now. His relationship with Tommy was filled with nothing but conflict and a brotherly bond and the juxtaposition of that made his head spin. So he doesn't let himself think about it. He cleans and he explores and he prepares and prepares and prepares. For what? He doesn't know. There are no more battles to fight, no more wars to win. The two people who constantly brought the need to fight ( _the want to fight for something important_ ) are dead, and not even from the battles they brought. Yet Techno prepares for some kind of future he finds himself not necessarily wanting. Techno copes with Tommy's death by keeping his hands and thoughts busy.

Phil, on the other hand, is nothing but violent grief and denial. The man will swing from theorizing ways to revive Tommy to sobbing into his morning coffee. Techno found him knitting a new deep red sweater yesterday because _"Tommy's never been a fan of the cold, so he'll need some good clothes when he stays with us once he comes back."_

Ranboo quickly excused himself from the room after that. Techno managed to mine enough netherite for two whole sets of armor for the rest of the day. Phil knit two more sweaters and a pair of socks. 

The only good thing (he felt wrong looking for silver linings, but he was also a realist,) to come out of this was Phil and Tubbo's relationship improved. They were both working with Sam to try and secure the prison. Phil would come home and tell Techno all of the stories Tubbo would tell about Tommy, though he would tell them like Tommy was still alive. It couldn't be good for Phil to talk like that, but it was healthier than knitting till his hands bled, Techno supposes. Apparently what was taking so long wasn't that the initial explosion hadn't been contained yet, Sam already repaired all of the exterior damage. It was that the explosion had managed to burn through some redstone, causing almost a chain effect, and due to the security of the prison it was nearly impossible to get inside to the damage. They were still working on getting to the Elder Guardians to diminish the mining fatigue, and then they still had layers upon layers of obsidian and blackstone to mine through before they could even begin to repair the redstone. 

Phil was off in the Greater SMP helping Tubbo and Sam now, and Ranboo was doing whatever it was that he disappeared to during the day, leaving Techno alone in the tundra. Being alone made him quite introspective, and he refused to let himself think about how he and Tommy's relationship ended, so he was busying himself with improving the bee farm. He doesn't even need the honey anymore, his redstone door already built, so he already had more honey than he could ever need. But the farm could always be more efficient, and Techno uses that excuse to justify expanding it to over double its size. 

He's trying so very carefully trying to not piss off the bees when a voice echoes behind him.

"You're doin' it wrong," the voice is so familiar Techno can feel the physical ache in his heart. He doesn't even want to turn around because he's smart, there's only one logical reason for why that painfully familiar voice is echoing from behind him. "Why are you ignoring me?" The voice echos again. If it were actually Tommy, it would've asked "are you ignoring me, dickhead?" or even a demanding "stop ignoring me". Instead, the echo of Tommy sounds so hurt, so lost at the prospect of Techno ignoring him that he has to turn around. 

He's hovering just slightly above the ground, white converse perfectly clean instead of their usual muddy off-white, khakis finally fitting unlike how they used to hang off his frame from the weight he never could put back on from exile, and stupidly iconic red raglan. The vibrant t-shirt only makes his grey skin and washed-out hair look duller. His eyes, which had only just regained their bright blue hue, are nearly white, almost blending into his cornea if you weren't looking hard enough. All the worry lines etched into his face were gone, the permanent look of worry in his eyes gone, his hair curly again. Techno didn't realize just how young Tommy looked once you peeled away the trauma clinging to him. Maybe that's because he _is_ young. Techno nearly chokes on tears he didn't know he was shedding. He hadn't cried once since finding out Tommy was dead. 

"Wh-" the words get stuck in his throat for a moment, "what am I doing wrong?" Tommy's face lights up at the question.

"You've gotta smoke 'em out!" His accent is thicker, Techno realizes. It had become less noticeable in the past year or so, Techno guessed it was because he was around so many people with different accents. "Tubbo taught me." _Fuck_ , how is Tubbo going to react to Tommy's ghost? Techno leaves that concern for the future.

"Alright," Techno tries to keep his voice from shaking, wiping away tears quickly, "I don't have the supplies to do that right now, how about we go inside?" 

"Sounds good big man!" Tommy smiles at him, he can't remember the last time Tommy's smile looked so honest. The last time it wasn't covered in layers of distrust and trauma. Somehow this echo of a brother hurts more than the other, and he can't place why. The two make their way into Techno's house and Tommy suddenly looks confused. "When'd'ya move outta Phil's?" Techno holds back another wave of tears. Apparently all ghosts got to be amnesiacs.

"I moved out a long time ago Toms," the nickname slips out. It's hard not to when Tommy looks exactly like how he did when he and Techno were close enough to call each other brothers. Well, only if you ignore the grey skin and washed-out hair and near-missing irises. But that was surprisingly easy to do when Tommy just seemed so happy and, ironically, more full of life now than he had in the past months. 

"Oh," was all Tommy could say to that, confusion not completely leaving his face, "where's Phil and Wilbur then?" 

"Phil's by L'manberg," Tommy lights up at the name, _shit_ , "and Wil is- uh, he's out."

"Out where?" 

"Out." 

"He's probably in L'manberg," Tommy brushes it off, "he's president after all." Fuck, _fuck_ , this was going to be so much harder than Techno wanted to deal with. He wanted to go back to an hour ago where he could pretend his whole family wasn't almost all dead by building useless farms and getting gear. He didn't want to be in this stupid cabin with the ghost of a kid he once called a brother who doesn't seem to remember that the other brother is also very much dead, asking about the nation that he helped destroy. 

"Do you wanna go find him?" is all Techno can ask, because maybe someone else they find along the way will be better at dealing with this than he is. Tommy's face lights up with child-like joy. Techno realizes a second too late that it looks child-like because Tommy is- _was_ , so young. 

"That's a stupid question!" Tommy laughs, and he's already heading out of the cabin. Techno follows him only to see him stopped a few steps off the stairs. "Where do we go?"

"I'll show you," Techno starts saddling up Carl, "we can ride there." Techno blocks out Tommy's excited cheers and rambling because it sounds just a little too real for him to be okay with it. He hops onto Carl and Tommy floats up to side behind him, leaning against his back. Even through his cloak, he can feel just how cold Tommy is. It grounds him too much, all he wants is to block out everything that's happening. The ride to the SMP is miserable as Tommy tells him what he was doing with Tubbo "last week" when Techno knows it happened years ago. Once they get into the SMP, Techno pointedly avoids L'manberg's grave and heads towards the prison to find Phil, Sam, and Tubbo. The outline of the prison is visible from yards away. It feels like a massive tomb. Techno supposes it is one. 

"Why are we here?" Tommy asks quietly from behind him, going ridged. 

"Were gettin' Phil and Tubbo," Techno reassures. Ghostbur would always get nervous and dodgy whenever bad things he vaguely remembered were mentioned, he doesn't know why he thought Tommy (Ghostinnit? Phantommy? Does Tommy consider himself different from who he was alive like Wilbur?) would be any different. The prison isn't exactly a happy place for anyone, nevertheless the boy who has it as a grave. 

"Why are they here?" Tommy's voice is only a whisper. Techno doesn't have a good answer so he doesn't give one. Does it could as being in denial in the stages of grief if you're being haunted? He pings Sam that he's outside and tries not to notice how badly Tommy's shaking. 

_Technoblade: Can you, Phil, and Tubbo come outside to the front?_

_Technoblade: It's important._

_Awesamdude: More important than securing Dream?_

_Technoblade: Tommy's a ghost._

He doesn't get a response after that but he's pretty sure Sam just got a new personal best for how fast he can get out of the prison. He watches Sam, Tubbo, and Phil materialize out of the portal, glancing around the foyer before spotting Techno standing by Karl at the mouth of the prison. Tommy's floated off to the trees in front of the prison, mumbling something about looking for some flowers. He prays Tommy doesn't have an obsession with blue dye like Ghostbur, he doesn't think anyone will be able to cope with the similarity. 

"Where?-" Phil asks first when they reach him, looking around nervously. He looks a combination of hopeful and dreadful, it's an oxymoron that can only exist in the situation where your pseudo-son comes back as a ghost. Tubbo looks only hopeful, and Sam looks completely numb. He hasn't seen any emotion on the man's face since the unbridled rage when Sam punched him before telling him about Tommy's death.

"He's over by the trees," Techno points to where he can just barely make out the red t-shirt, "said he was lookin' for flowers." 

"Does he- has he-," Sam stutters, "is he like Ghostbur?" 

"Kind of," Techno sighs, "he asked when I had moved out of Phil's house when I moved out years ago. He asked where Wilbur was then said he must be in L'manberg because he's the president. Kept tellin' me stories about him and Tubbo like they happened yesterday but they were stories from their childhood," the three of them look sick, "but he was freaked out when he saw the prison, so he must remember recent things somewhat." 

"Wil- Ghostbur had said he was only around for unfinished business, and Schlatt never even came back," Phil mutters, "why is he here?" 

"He didn't say anything, he's-" Techno can't figure out where he's going with that sentence, so he lets it hang. The four of them walk over to where Tommy's now sitting on the ground, watching something intently. 

"Whatcha watching mate?" Phil asks conversationally, nobody comments anything about how his voice shakes. Tommy's gaze snaps up from the ground, Techno can now see he was staring at some ants, and Phil inhales sharply as the white eyes land on him.

"Phil!" Tommy cheers, jumping up and pulling Phil into a hug, "you're finally back! I saw Techno but not Wil so I thought maybe you got back and then just left again with Wilbur but you're actually back!" Techno feels hollow, Phil looks like he'd been hit and Tubbo looked sick. Sam just looked confused, but Techno was in no mood to explain it to him. 

"Y-yeah, I'm back," Phil coughs to cover his sob.

"You took forever, this was the longest trip yet!" 

"I know Toms, I'm sorry," Phil hugs Tommy tighter, "I'm so sorry." Techno has a feeling Phil is apologizing for entirely different reasons. Tommy just laughs and pulls away, though Phil looks like he still wants to hold on.

"Well I gotta get goin'," Tommy says confidently, it's the first time since showing up on the server that Techno hears it sounds like genuine confidence and not false bravo, "Vice President duties await!" Tubbo turns away from Tommy at that, shoulders shaking from holding in sobs. 

"Why don't you show me the hotel instead Tommy?" Tubbo asks, changing the subject, "You never got the chance to show me, you- you were going to show me." 

"Oh right!" Tommy beams, grabbing Tubbo's hand and floating in the direction of the hotel, "I think Sam Nook will be there, so I've gotta find my 'ard hat, but then we can check it out!" Tubbo and Tommy head off, Tommy's voice still echoing through the field, leaving the adults alone. 

"Wh- what was he talking about? About you being back?" Sam asks quietly and Phil lets out a sob. 

"I would leave on trips a lot, when he was younger," Phil's voice is quiet, an awful contrast to Tommy's loud and cheerful voice still somewhat audible, "Techno and I would go on quests or explore. Sometimes Wilbur would join but he never seemed interested, saying he wanted to stay back with Tommy." Sam's looking at Phil strangely, he hadn't been wearing his mask lately, his face flipping between judgmental, angry, and mournful. 

"...Let's get back to work on the prison," Sam says, changing the topic completely. Phil looks relieved. Techno stands at the front of the prison aimlessly. He's not good enough at redstone to help them fix the prison, he doesn't think he can cope with seeing Tommy's ghost more, and he has no business around L'manberg. He leaves for his cabin again. His farms always have room for improvement. 

They all continue with their routine from before Tommy's arrival as a ghost. It feels like the ghost should've had a larger impact on their lives. It also felt like Tommy's death should've been more significant, but you can't always get what you want. 

Whenever Phil or Tubbo were available Tommy could be found with them, or even Sam. But the three of them were working on the prison most of the time, and Tommy refused to go near the building, so he was with Techno for the majority of the time. If Techno zones out enough while mindlessly working on his farms and gathering supplies, it almost feels like the boy following him around is the kid he grew up with and not an echo. He pretends Tommy is simply bored, and he's following him around because Tommy always looked up to him when he was little, not that Tommy's dead in a cell, and unable to pass because of unfinished business so he simply haunts the people who failed him. Sometimes, however, Tommy made it quite difficult to pretend. He asks about L'manberg a lot, asked about Wilbur even more. 

"When is Wilbur coming back?" Tommy had asked one night while Techno was mining for his fifth set of netherite gear. It wasn't the first time he had asked, and Techno always dodged the question before that. He stares at Tommy for a long moment before coming to a decision.

"Wilbur died, Tommy," Techno admits, and watches Tommy's face crumble. 

"What?" Tommy whispers as blood starts to leak from his hairline.

"To-Tommy?! Why are you bleeding?!" Techno shouts, rushing to grab a spare rag and blot at the cut. It doesn't seem to clot whatsoever.

"...Wilbur's dead?" Tommy looks disconsolate as bruises form on his arms and face and his nose starts bleeding, "no, _no!_ How?" There are tears pouring down his face and Techno can't do anything but gather Tommy up in his arms. He spent over an hour trying to calm Tommy down. By the end of it, there were so many bloodstains on Techno's white blouse that he had to just throw the shirt away.

The next day he asked the same question. When Phil asked about the bruises and still lingering bloody nose, Tommy said he didn't remember. For two days Techno tried to remind him, tried to keep the memory to stick so Tommy wouldn't keep reliving his brother's death. For two days wounds appeared on Tommy that were telling of his death, for two days he mourned his brother that died months ago. 

"Is Wilbur gonna be back anytime soon?" Tommy asked on the third day.

"...no, sorry, he's out on presidential work for a while, Toms," Techno had told him. He told him the same thing every time Tommy asked again. The boy looked upset at the news but not nearly as grief-stricken as he was when Techno told the truth. The wound on his head finally faded.

It was a similar story for the fate of L'manberg. They tried to tell him a few times, but all it did was make him scream and cry and Techno and Phil for hours and ask the same question the next day. It was difficult to keep forcing Tommy to avoid L'manberg, but luckily to boy seemed to remember Snowchester and was happy to spend most of his time between Snowchester and Techno's cabin.

Tommy's memory was a strange thing. He would think memories from years ago were yesterday, but still remember recent events on the server. He mourned L'manberg while talking about his hotel, he talks about living with Phil while wandering around Snowhchester. It was hard to listen to, but it was even harder to ignore Tommy when this was the first time in months _(years?)_ that he looked so happy, so carefree. 

It was a little less than a week with Tommy's ghost lingering when Phil came into the cabin with his face steeled. 

"Hi Phil!" Tommy greets happily as he hovers over the couch where Techno was reading. Phil gives him a tight smile. 

"Techno can you come help me with Carl?" Phil asks, not waiting for a response before he steps onto the porch. Techno follows quickly, cracking the door behind him. Phil gets to the point quickly. "The prison is secured, Sam got Tommy out."

"..." Techno stares out into the tundra. There's no good response he can give Phil.

"Sam tried interrogating Dream about the revival book," Phil says but Techno doesn't let his hope build because of the tone of Phil's voice. "he's demanding freedom in return for the book. Sam said it's not worth it."

"Do you agree with him?" Techno asks.

"..." Phil glances back inside the cabin, where Tommy's now flipping through the book Techno had, "Tommy would've agreed." 

They don't say anything to each other for a while. Spring had finally reared its head. It was such a nice day out. 

"We're burying him next to Wilbur, if you'd like to come."

"...yeah, I'd like to." Phil nods and they step back into the cabin.

"Hey, Tommy," Phil greets softly, "is there anything in your enderchest you'd want to be- be buried with?" Phil chokes on the words a bit. Tommy stops flipping through the book to look at Phil. His eyes look a little clearer, just then. He looks out the window before Techno can think too hard about it.

"...nothing," Tommy shrugs, "I fought so hard to keep my belongings safe. I don't want them six feet under where someone can grab them." It was the first time Tommy had mentioned anything close to the Disc Wars, or really any kind of turmoil he was in when he was alive. It sends a shiver down Techno's spine. Phil seems just as unsettled by the remark.

"Fair enough," Techno tries to keep his voice level, "we're gonna...we're gonna go bury you, now." God, what was his life that he could be in this situation. Telling the ghost of the kid he watched grow up that he was going to go bury his half-rotten corpse. 

"Okay," Somehow, Tommy smiles at him. It doesn't look like the phantom of Tommy smiling, or Tommy's alive and jaded smirk. It looks like Tommy, and it hurts.

"See ya, mate," Phil waves.

"Goodbye," Tommy says, a small smile still on his face. They both start out the door before Tommy's voice stops them again, "guys?"

"...yeah, Toms?" Phil asks.

"...thank you." Tommy's smile is just ever so sad. Not mournful, like how he looked when they told him Wilbur was dead or how he looked when Henry died. Not upset, like he was told off by Phil. It looked solemnly content. 

The funeral is small. It was himself, Phil, Ranboo, Tubbo, Sam, Quackity, Puffy, and Sapnap. Techno didn't exactly know how the last three found out about the funeral, but he didn't mind them being there. He spotted Jack Manifold standing a ways away on a hill, but didn't point him out. Sapnap had mumbled something about a fish and old alliances when he arrived. Ranboo and Tubbo were quietly holding hands. Puffy was shaking with grief and rage but didn't say a word to any of them. Quackity didn't look at him, and Techno tried to ignore the scar going up the side of his face. They can all put aside grudges and differences for the death of a hero, it seems. 

They gathered in the small field behind L'manberg. There was already a small wooden cross in the field with dandelions and cornflower growing around it. Sam digs a hole next to it and lowers Tommy's body into it, wrapped in an old L'manberg flag. Ranboo plants a single Allium and Techno doesn't dare ask him the importance. Tubbo and Puffy plant red tulip seeds around the cross. The weather is beautiful, they'll bloom in no time. 

When Techno gets home, Tommy's gone. There's a small emerald on a gold chain left on the table. When he asks Tubbo a week later, the boy tells him he was left a dried puffer fish charm. It's more of a goodbye than any of them got from Wilbur. It doesn't hurt any less. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this chapter really shows the influence of the Daugther song this is titled after. That song is about loved ones having dementia/Alzheimer's, and there's a specific part where it talks about someone calling out for their mother because they've forgotten she's dead. The person's loved ones don't want to tell them she's dead because they'll just have to relive their death, but it's still difficult to see. That part heavily inspired that bit in this about Tommy constantly reliving learning that Wilbur is dead and that L'manberg is gone, to where they all decided to just lie to him and keep him away from the crater.   
> For anyone confused by the ending, Tommy's "unfinished business" that kept him stuck in the overworld was that he didn't get a proper burial and was rotting in the cell with Dream. He left Techno the friendship emerald, and gave Tubbo Phhukit back. It was his small way of trying to help them move on from his death, because those were both things they gave him in his time of need (exile and before the election).  
> I'm really curious to find out what's going to happen in canon because I know Tommy won't stay dead. But in this story, I wanted Tommy to at least be able to get closure in death. It's sad that he stays dead, but good that he gets to pass happily. This story and specifically this chapter lowkey hurt to write, but I hope everyone enjoyed it nonetheless :) Thank you for reading <3


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